Just felt like typing out my thoughts that were kept inside of me all the time.
I used to have this feeling that everyone hated me and so I would do all sorts of mean stuffs and say sarcarstic things about them to make them hate me even more then they have already had. So I felt lonesome during my Sec1 and 2 life where I didn't accept the care and love friends showered upon me(if there is). I would turn their kindness away as I felt they don't have to do things for me, cos I am not worth it. So I didn't get a birthday I really wanted and I felt so upset cos I thought my family was the only people that I can rely on. But no celebrations for me. Sec three was worst, friends were diss-ing me, friends turned against me but a movie outing was made by my friends. A cake was bought for me and I was happy but didn't show it. Felt sad cos feeings were bottled up.
Things changed when I got to sec4, I started changing to what people wanted in me, so I was colder towards people and quieter, I guess? BUT, people still hated me. Karma or intention?
This year was great, made alot of friends and some that I used to chat with turn against me. They went with one guy and got influenced, now I'm left with hatred for them. But there's a few more weeks left before everything end. Why do this.. No idea. Friends that were there for me : PanziJie, Xuanda, Ezekiel, Matthew(recently) and many more but can't think of them now =x
Really glad people sent me birthday wishes although I don't really talk to them : Raecious, Yueming, Shamaine, Dorothy, Nukun, Felly and 1 girl I don't know. Well, I guess that sums up my feelings although its messy and I don't know what I just typed.... =S BYE